One thing I enjoy is watching game shows, because I spend so much of my day studying, counseling, praying and serving other people in so many ways, when I sit down to relax I do not want to think. Gameshows therefore, are my go to for relaxation and winding down after a great day. I was watching Family Feud last night, Steve Harvey is so funny, I just love that he is hosting this show, and one of the questions was, what is missing in most people’s lives? The number one answer was love.

When I heard this number one answer to a a survey of 100 people, I was amazed but not surprised that this was their top answer. We cannot love people and be selfish. Cultural independence has created a vacuum of love, for everyone is looking out for themselves, are concerned about themselves, are worried about themselves, so they operate from a deficit rather than abundance. This is one of the main reasons people are lacking love. You can’t genuinely love someone else when you are always thinking about, worried about, focused on yourself.

Love is others focused. Love thinks about others. Love engages authentically with others. Love does not have “me” in mind when in the presence of another. I have a new friend, he has special needs and he can’t communicate what he needs or wants very clearly, but he sure does respond well to love. Love that sees him, hears him and wants to know him. Love that knows he cannot give anything in return other than a look in his eyes that says, “You see me!” Love sees him and he knows it.

The apostle Paul said, “If we have not love, we are nothing” (1 Corinthians 13). We may pray the strongholds down; we may cast the demons out; we may preach the roof off the house; we may have more money than we know what to do with; we may drive a nice car; we may own a big house; we may sell a great product; but if we have not love, we are nothing.

Love is not weak, passive, quiet, soft, mushy, love is strong, steady, selfless. Love is not about me, love is about what others need in that moment. Love is authentic, passionate, observant. Love sees what is in its hand or heart and gives it freely. To some it may not be much, but to the receiver who can feel the love being given, it is life-changing and love has many expressions. We must never go beyond love or we missed the whole point of what we need and what we are called to give.