The Ache

Things can be hidden for only so long, because some changes manifest in a way that is noticeable and people start to see the changes that were done in private, for now they have become public. For you that know me, you can tell I have been making physical changes to my body. I have lost over 50 pounds since January 1, 2023, and I have had some other major changes happen physically as well, all for the good. I am so thankful for the people in my life here in Tennessee for they are life speakers and they have watered this desert so now it blooms with flowers that produce a fragrance for others to enjoy.

God has a way of using physical changes to reach deep into places we did not know were buried inside of us. When you get married you learn things about yourself you did not know; when you have children you definitely see things in yourself you didn’t know, like how selfish you really are. The same is true with losing weight. People celebrate the loss, they compliment you on how good you look, but what I didn’t know is I was using food to numb an ache. Now that food is not there to be my anesthesia, I have an ache, that is connected to a dream, that I cannot deny and I choose not to numb any longer.

I have come to realize this ache is a God planted dream inside of me that I have no way of making happen in my own strength, so I have to acknowledge the ache. I believe everyone of us has a God given ache inside of us, it is a dream God put in us and it aches because we can’t fulfill it in our own strength. I do not believe God gave this too us to torment us, but He gave it to us to fulfill it in us. He is a Father, He loves us, and He knows who we were created to be.

I want to give you permission to see the ache, hear the ache, stop numbing the ache or acting like it doesn’t exist. I realize some aches can’t be fulfilled without “x” number of money; others can’t be fulfilled until “x” comes into your life; still others the ache can’t be fulfilled apart from God intervention, literally. I know the ache, I finally feel it, see it, and am shedding tears and praying prayers about it. It is not the thorn in your flesh, it is the dream of your heart that is why it aches and I finally am feeling it pulsate inside of me and it is a deep well that I have not felt before, but I feel it now.

My friends, I see now how we use food, drugs, sex, alcohol, religion, pornography, you name it to numb the ache, but it doesn’t go away. People can’t fulfill it, only God can, it is not there to punish us, it is there to remind us, we are called to “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it.” (Psalm 37:4-5) The enemy wants us to believe God is taunting us, so we pull away from the Lord, but even with an ache, we draw near, for we know the nature, character and heart of our God, He is good, He is faithful, He is a promise keeper, He cannot lie. Draw near, ache and all, He gave it to you, so He is going to fulfill it, in due time! The ache is the dream!

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